Poor Grandma, Part 1

Back when my "grandma" was raising children, she didn't know her arms were more toned than Mrs. Olsen's because they wore sleeves and didn't pin pictures of "6 Must-Do Exercises to Rid Your Arms of Flab Forever".  Nor did she have a full-length mirror (or the privacy to stand naked in front of one if she had one) to analyze just how bad her cellulite was.

And yet her husband loved her anyhow, delighted in her, and loved her faithfully until his last dying breath.

"Grandma" didn't realize there were "10 Things No New Mom Can Do Without", she thought her little stash of homemade cloth diapers and the wooden cradle that her husband made were just fine for bringing home another baby.  She didn't know she needed a Bumbo, a bouncer seat, a battery operated swing and a special bathtub.  On that note, she missed the list of "What to Pack in Your Hospital Bag" because she had homebirths and a kettle of hot water and a heap of clean towels was all she really needed.

And yet her baby's brains and bodies developed, they adored her and grew up healthy and strong.

"Grandma" didn't know there was 101 books she had to read to her children before they were six or that she had to prepackage busy bags for her younger children to play with while she educated her older children.  She didn't have to choose between 127 homeschool curricula, she just taught her children what she knew, how to read and write, how to add numbers, how plants grew, she taught the girls how to sew, cook and clean and shooed the boys out of the house to help their dad plant fields and do carpentry work or to manage the store or shoe horses.  The list of Date Night ideas escaped her notice and since there was no time to get away with just her &  the mister they surely also missed the "12 Mother-Son Dates" and "15 Daddy-Daughter Dates".

And yet her children knew they were loved and valued, were well educated, had good manners, made good friends and grew up to support their own families.

"Grandma" never found out what the words tablescape or gourmet meant.  Until they were older her girls shared a cup and most days if they had meat to eat it was a pretty special blessing.  She didn't fret over whether her grains were soaked and sprouted, the beef was grass-fed and their Omega 3s were in proper ratio to their Omega 6s.  She didn't stage her house when her husband said it was time to move, she just packed up everything they owned that would fit in the wagon and hoped the next person who found their cabin & made it home would appreciate the sturdiness of the bed.

And yet her family was well-fed and healthy, close-knit and called their mother "blessed".

"Grandma" never knew her rooms would seem bigger or her ceilings higher if she painted the walls a certain color.  She never knew her picture frames had to be hung a certain number of inches above her furniture or in odd numbers.

And yet her home always felt cozy, there was always warmth in the fireplace, and memories to savor.

"Grandma" never hosted grand tea parties for 12, made elaborate party favors for birthday parties, made seating charts for dinner parties or put mints on her overnight guests' pillows.

And yet her neighbors always knew they could stop in for a cup of tea, her friends always asked for her simple recipes, her church knew they could count on her to donate homemade pies, and her extended family didn't hesitate to spend the night when the weather was too bad to ride home.

Poor Grandma, she didn't know just how much of a mess she was.  She had no idea of her BMI or ideal weight, she didn't know how ill-prepared of a mom she was, she was unaware of how her children stacked up against other children in the state or country, she was incognizant about how simple and uninspiring her meals were, she was clueless about how unglamorous her home furnishings were, and she was simply oblivious to her entertaining faux pas.  And gloriously blissful in her ignorance.

As I talk to other ladies about their feelings of inadequacy, dissatisfaction with their lives, their marriages, their bodies, their houses, their children....their very purpose in life, I can't help but think of all the things "Grandma" missed out on. I am chief among the complainers.  I compare and covet.  I analyze and ache.  It's all just too much.  I agonize over comments made on Facebook, the lack of blog readers, I Pin every possible idea to help me feed, entertain, spend quality time with, impart value to my family.  I check out 10 books on the GAPS diet and vitamin deficiency along with 6 books on how to impart blessings to my family and make sure my children stay in church, and on top of that stack I add a few books on the proper colors for my home and the newest designs in home decor.  Many of these things are good things to think about, the food we feed our children, the coziness of our homes, the pleasures in life are not sins and may in fact be noble.  But the comparison game, the constant discontentment is just too much.  A little voice in my head screams "Enough!"  I want off of this ride of comparisons and inadequacy. 

And yet, I know that God put me here for such a time as this.  But He also calls me to come out and be separate.  Not to look like the world, to put my treasure in things not of this world, to find my value in Him, to let Him be God and be His servant.

(All pictures taken by Mr. Steady or myself at Sauder Village)

Dying to Live

 

 Covenant-First Presbyterian, Cincinnati

And Jesus answered them, The time has come for the Son of Man to be glorified and exalted.   I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains [just one grain; it never becomes more but lives] by itself alone.  

But if it dies, it produces many others and yields a rich harvest.

Covenant-First Presbyterian, Cincinnati

One Moment

As you may already be aware, my theme for this year is "Intentionally".  I have to admit, some days are way easier than others.  But every once in a while I will be reminded "be intentional" and my demeanor alters, my voice softens, my answer may even change.

The things we say and do can forever impact the people around us, especially little impressionable minds.  At 33 I am so forgetful it is scary but my Facebook friends are often astonished at the level of details I remember things from our childhood.  One friend in particular I have fond memories of is always amazed that I can remember the Halloween costume she wore when we we in third grade or the bands we listened to in her room in junior high.

I sometimes wonder if my memories are watercolored because of the emotions they conjure up.  Was that leader of the "Snob Mob' really as mean and ruthless as I remember her?  Were the adults in my life really as caught up in their careers as I felt they were?  As I look at my life now a lot of the choices I make are because of what Paul David Tripp describes as "interpretation of experience."  He stresses that our attitudes and behaviors are byproducts of our interpretation of experience.

"Human beings made in the image of God do not live life based on the FACTS of their experience, but rather on the interpretation of experience."

It's why two children growing up in the same household can have completely, mind boggling memories of their childhood.  It's why one of them can remember that Grandpa was the nicest person on the planet and the other can think he was a selfish, mean man.

I'm getting a little off topic here, I just wanted to demonstrate "interpretation of experience".

We each come into contact with children at different levels in our day-to-day living.  Some of us have lots of them living under our roofs, some of you are fostering multiple little hearts, some of you are privileged to have grandchildren, some of you may only see children at the grocery store or library.  Whether you see a child 16 hours a day or 2 days a year, stop and take a minute to think about how you are treating them, reacting to them and responding to them.

I can think of many moments in my life both positive and negative.  I remember when I was in maybe 3rd grade, my piano teacher said, "You are bold!" and I remember asking my mom what this meant.  I am not so sure she meant it as a compliment but I have learned that sometimes boldness, when used in a proper setting, can be quite beneficial.  I have the snapshot of that exact moment frozen in my memory film.  I'm still learning to filter that boldness but at that instant she could have voiced her opinion in a negative way.  I thought so highly of her I can't imagine how it would have impacted me.

When I was in junior high, I had an English teacher who really believed in me and my writing.  I remember him standing in my mom's office (which was inside the junior high principal's office - think I got away with anything in school?), putting his arm over my shoulder and telling my mom, "This girl writes with a wisdom beyond her years."  That may or may not have been true but it bolstered me up and I still carry that in my heart a lot of years later.

I will be honest, I have a lot of negative memories that splatter my memory bank ad nauseum but I hold the positive memories in my pocket like stardust and they keep me going.  Now imagine with me, if you will, if someone had spoke God's promises into my life and I recalled those and sprinkled those like stardust?  That is what I want for my boys.

In the book-turned movie  The Help, Abilene tells Mae Mobley over and over and over, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important," because she knows no one else will and there is so much negativity in that child's life that she needs a cheerleader.  Abilene also knows she won't be there forever and she has to instill this truth in this baby girl at the youngest age possible.

I recently witnessed a moment that made me choke back tears (which, if you know me, doesn't take much).  A sister at church was disciplining a child and she could have just wagged her finger at him and told him to stop but she pulled him to her, she wrapped her arms around him, she put her forehead on his forehead and she lovingly corrected him.  This child does not get much love and attention from his mother at home and this sister could have just broken his spirit in two with her chastisement but I think he will lovingly remember her countenance and correction.

Where am I going with all of this?  Wess Stafford, president  of Compassion shares with us how a moment he shared with his daughter may have impacted even her career path:

Dr. Stafford has written a book about the impact one moment has on a child entitled Just a Minute: In the Heart of a Child One Moment...Can Last Forever and I encourage you to read it and learn new ways to speak truth into a child's life (with both a capital T and lowercase).  

I wouldn't be a very good Compassion blogger if I didn't also mention taking a moment to sponsor a child and if you are already a sponsor, take a moment and write your sponsored child a letter.  Compassion has some really neat new stationary for your online letters.

And you can take this one step further, think about the people in your life whose positive "moments" have stayed with you through the years.  Take a minute to look them up and send them a note thanking them for the impact they made in your life.  Through a series of events my husband met someone I went to school with.  This boy was kind of a loner and very, very quiet in school.  When my husband mentioned meeting him I said "Wow, I can't believe he remembered me, I don't think he ever said more than 5 words to me,"  I about crumbled in two when my husband replied, "Huh, that's weird because he said he remembers you well and that you were always so very nice to him."  I don't remember being nice to him, I don't remember ever having a conversation with him.  And that right there is why we always need to be intentional about our moments.  Because positive moments piled one on top of the other make a huge difference in a child's life.  And negative moments piled on on top of the other make a huge chasm in a child's life.

Be intentional this week about speaking truth and Truth into someone's life.  Tell a child, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important,"...even if they are not yet.  Because one day they will remember that someone believed in them.  And they will be smart, kind, and important because that is the truth that you poured in to them.

Predictions for 2012

I originally received this from a friend in 2009 for 2010 but I think you will agree the predictions will still be accurate for 2012.  Have a blessed 2012!

Top 10 Predictions for 2012

1.. The Bible will still have all the answers.

2. Prayer will still be the most powerful thing on Earth..

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still honor the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing of praise to God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the Cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10..Jesus will still save the lost when they come to Him.

Isn't it great to remember Who is really in control, and that; "the Word of the Lord endures forever."

( 1 Peter 1:25 )

A Local Christmas

I received this email just minutes ago and I usually roll my eyes at "Buy American" broo-ha-ha but I love the message of this.  Let's buy local, not from big box stores.  Let's buy (or even better - GIVE) services instead of stuff.  I am not even getting on my soapbox this year - just going to share what the email said.

"Christmas 2011 -- Birth of a New Tradition


As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods -- merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor.

This year will be different. This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans. There is no longer an excuse that, at gift-giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands. Yes there is!

It's time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper?

Everyone -- yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local American hair salon or barber? 

Gym membership? It's appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.

Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American-owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.

Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plonking down the Benjamines on a Chinese made flat-screen? Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the
summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.

There are a bazillion owner-run restaurants -- all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery sort, what about a half-dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. Remember, folks this isn't about big National chains --this is about supporting your home town Americans with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?

Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.

My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner-operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip. And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theater.

Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.

Honestly, people, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand Chinese lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar string of light, about fifty cents stays in the community. If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip.

You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that China can build another glittering city. Christmas is now about caring about US (Uh, Towngirl here...technically Christmas is still about Jesus), encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we couldn't imagine.

THIS is the new American Christmas tradition."

What are some other things you can think of to give that would support your local community?  I heard of a mother who gives each of her children a cord of wood for Christmas - love it.  I still really love Anna's idea of a Christmas trip instead of gift, you can stimulate another town's economy by eating local and staying in an owner-run establishment when you are there.  I'm quite sure your adult children would love a weekend away!  How about a gift certificate to your local optometrist for an eye exam or glasses? 

Don't forget when you are buying your food and decorations for the holidays, someone that forwarded the email to me reminded me to buy flowers from local florists instead of FTD.  Can you find a local source for your turkey?  I just saw an ad in our local paper yesterday advertising homegrown turkeys plus we have a huge local turkey farm here.  It's more expensive but in the long run it's worth it.  Local eggs, pay a local baker to bake your rolls if you're going to buy them anyways.  The list could go on and on.

What are some other gifts you can give that would support your local community?

When You Can't See the Difference

Late in the week during our trip to Torreon, I started to feel really discouraged and defeated.  Was I making any kind of difference at all?  Was I more of a burden than a blessing?  What was the point of my being there?  On our last day there, I climbed a large hill next to the Indian House and watched the sun come up.  I asked God all of these questions and more.  Here is how He answered:

 Look at the sunrise - when you begin in the dark and it is gradually getting lighter around you, you don't notice the change from moment to moment.  You know it's getting lighter but it's unmeasurable just by looking at it.

 And so it is when God is working through us.  You don't notice the difference but it's there.  It's not something tangible and measurable, we just have to trust that the change is there.  After all, the change isn't about us and we can't take any of the glory - it's His.  If there is a seed planted, a weed pulled away, a seedling watered, a harvest gathered - it's His.  Maybe He did use me to make a difference to one person, maybe the only difference He made was in me, whatever difference was made - it's His.

 "Once more Jesus addressed the crowd. He said, I am the Light of the world. He who follows Me will not be walking in the dark, but will have the Light which is Life." John 8:12 AMP

First Time Obedience

We have really been working with the boys lately on first-time obedience.  It means being told once and no more.  Our mantra is "all the way, right away, the first time."  I'm sure the boys are sick of hearing that.  I'm sick of saying it.

Late last winter a sign-up sheet was posted at church for a mission trip to Torreon, New Mexico.  We signed up to go but then the trip got postponed and assigned a new project.  We signed up again for the second trip.  Not much prayer went into it, we just thought it sounded like a good opportunity to visit our church's mission and expose our boys to a little bit more of the world.

We set aside money from our tax return for the trip but one of our vans needed work and then the electric bill was higher than we planned for and then work was scarce and hours were short and on and on until our nice chunk of money was nearly gone.

As we sat back and looked at finances, it didn't seem like it would ever happen.  We did the math and crunched the numbers...we would never be able to afford it.  We decided to take what money was left and donate it to the expenses of the project and just stay home.  Thankfully we were told to just hang tight and the money for our family would be there.

I would be lying if I said I was doubtful.  I was highly doubtful.  I planned a garage sale but a series of events kept that from happening.  Someone gave us a very generous donation with the instructions to pay-it-forward the next year.  Could this really happen?  We stepped forward in faith and rented a car. 

I scheduled a Zumbathon to raise money for the trip.  11 people showed up.  God, are you trying to tell us not to go?  If this was meant to be wouldn't the people show up?  11 people, $15 per person....miraculously the dollar amount taken in was over $400.  Thank you God!

The next day at church we are abundantly and generously gifted more than a sufficient amount to make the trip and cover the time off of work.  Confirmation.  Confirmation that this is really His will, His desire.  He took what we could do out of our hands, for the van, for the bills, and showed us what He was able to do.  The money He gave us was more than what we had originally set aside! 

As Mr. Steady and I laid our hands on that gift and prayed, I asked God's forgiveness for never seeking His will and then questioning whether we were really supposed to go, was this really His will?  We are spreading His gospel, showing His love with a family of unbelievers, who are closely related to the tribes medicine man, a family in bondage who needs to see God's love.  He told us "Go into the all the world and preach the Good news". 

He told us once.  Why do we think He has to confirm it for us over and over and over again?

Let's take this first-time obedience and turn back to our children...can you imagine this conversation?

"Son, please wash the dishes."

"Me?  But I'm not qualified, I don't know how to do it, I don't have the tools I need."

I give him a dishcloth, a towel, and soap and lovingly show my son how to wash the dishes.

"Son, the dishes aren't washed,"

"Oh, I didn't know you wanted me to wash the dishes, I thought my brother would be better suited to do that job.  I don't feel called to do the dishes.  I feel called to only minister on the couch.  There are lots of needs right here within my reach, see I could hold the remote, and I could even watch a movie.  Movies have feelings and needs too, you know.  How come everyone wants to talk about the dishes when there are needs right here in this room?  In fact, I have needs and they aren't being met.  I really need to just fill my own love-tank up.  I need to be ministered to.  I'm not really ready yet to do the dishes, I know you trained me already but I just feel like maybe I should practice here on the couch before I actually do real dishes, you know?  Maybe I might mess them up somehow and then that would be bad.  You wouldn't want me to damage the dishes would you?"

How do you think that would go over with a child who is supposed to be practicing first-time obedience?  God is long-suffering and patient but that doesn't mean we need to be disrespectful and disobedient. 

I was waiting on a personal invitation.  A physical confirmation.  Lightning bolts and a booming voice from above would have been really great.  How would I feel if my child, after being told to do something said "Oh, I was waiting on a lightning bolt or some real, true confirmation that you actually wanted me to do the dishes." 

I wonder how many times I say "All the way, right away, the first time" and God says "Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black?"

What are you waiting for?  Are you practicing first-time obedience?  Are you following God all the way, right away, the first time?

Peace on Earth December Challenge

I'm joining Courtney in her Peace on Earth December Challenge.  Let's keep our focus on Jesus this month!  It's all too easy to get wrapped up (pun intended) in the gifts and shopping, cooking and get togethers.  Those things are all great if we keep Jesus as our guest of honor.  Won't you join us?  Start by lighting a candle every day this week in a main room of your home.  Every time you see the candle burning, say a prayer for your family and loved ones.

As you prepare your home for Jesus' birthday party, what are you doing to prepare your heart?  Our family is reading Jotham's Journey and accompanying devotional nightly.

Satan's Opportune Moments

Today I was so blessed by what Courtney shared on her Good Morning Girls blog:

"I recently read this commentary from Dr. Charles Stanley discussing Acts 4:13 and was so encouraged by it that I wanted to share it with you today. Do you ever have those days where you feel un-usable for God? How about just plain ordinary….nothing special about you? Me too! Read this my sweet sister and be encouraged!


Anyone who studies God’s ways soon realizes they are quite different from man’s. Worldly wisdom says that extraordinary people and abundant resources are needed for great tasks, yet the Lord often chooses the small and insignificant to achieve His purposes on earth.


For example, Christ selected a rather unimpressive group of men as disciples, yet after being filled with the Spirit, they “turned the world upside down.” During His ministry on earth, Jesus fed thousands with a child’s meager lunch, and He viewed the widow’s two small coins as a greater offering than all the other generous donations (John 6:5-12; Luke 21:2-3).


God specializes in using people who aren’t naturally qualified to accomplish His tasks. Moses was a verbally impaired 80-year-old shepherd who liberated a nation. After Gideon hid from the enemy, God made him a valiant warrior. David was the overlooked youngest son who killed a giant with a small stone and became Israel’s greatest king.


God isn’t looking for impressive people; He wants willing ones who will bow the knee in humble submission. Being weak and ordinary doesn’t make you useless. Rather, it positions you for a demonstration of divine power in your life. He takes insignificant ones and delights in making them great.


Have you ever considered that your lack of ability, talent, or skill is the ideal setting for a great display of Christ’s power and glory? If you are willing to submit to His leading and venture into the scary yet rewarding territory of faith and obedience, He will do great things in and through you.

The devil knows our weaknesses, he knows where to kick us when we're down.  While he screams lies that we are useless and worthless...what good could ever come from you...do you know what you've done, do you remember where you've been?"  God is whispering "For MY glory, do it for MY glory."
 
Yes I am small and insignificant, ordinary and unimpressive, weak and unqualified.  But my God is NOT!  My prayer is that I would be willing to bow my knee in humble submission and be in a position to demonstrate divine power in my life. My prayer is that when I am filled with the Holy Spirit I can use this blog to turn someone's world upside down and that His glory and power would shine through.   All of Him and none of me.
 

The Room(s)

It started over five years ago, I'm not sure exactly when.  I had a dream.  At the time it was funny;  A couple we knew from church had a humble home, a nicely decorated but not overly appointed home.  And yet behind a hidden door there was a modern art display.  All white with only the art as the focus.  Spotlights and gallery lights shone on the masterpieces.  In my dream I asked my friend about the art and why she had never told me about it.  She shrugged and said she didn't think it was an important thing to share.  A few days later when I saw her in real life I told her about the dream and we both laughed at the craziness of it.

Since that time I've had many, many dreams of houses with hidden rooms.  The house is usually different but I've dreamt several times of my parent's home and "my" home although it's never been the house I've lived in (or ever lived in).  My brother-in-law had a hidden sports & media room, graciously decorated and decidely different from the rest of the house.  My cousin had a mall under her house with a grand marble staircase and running the entire length and width of a city block.  I've never been to her house but I've seen pictures and I know she doesn't have a mall there.

In my dreams of my parent's house we have found hidden staircases, gigantically huge attics, including one attic that had an apartment in it.  In one of "my" houses there was a cozy but large family room with a kitchen in the back of the house we had never known about.  In another there was a little room off the side of the house, with a whole wall of cabinets, fully stocked with paper products, an old plaid couch with my deceased mom's winter coat laying on it.  This dream was the only dream that I had where I found the room alone.

Last night I had the dream again.  This time our family was living in a tiny house on the railroad tracks, an old clapboard house with badly peeling paint.  It was a seedy neighborhood as I went outside and saw the shadowy figures of two men and walked back in the house and locked the doors.  But once inside the house the space opened up to an enormous square footage.  Suddenly I had this feeling that we had to move and so I started packing up things.  As I opened a closet I walked into a room, a spare bedroom with a full bath.  It was not as nicely decorated as many of the other rooms I had dreamed about but it was fully furnished and I turned to Mr. Steady, broken hearted.  I said "This is just like all those dreams I had, we had this space all along and didn't use it!  We could have let your mom stay here instead of in that tiny nursery".  And when I woke up I realized not only was it just like all those dreams, it was yet another one of those dreams.

I have only shared this pattern of dreams with Mr. Steady and my friend Kenny D.  I am not completely sure why I am sharing it here.  I have no idea why I have these dreams, I don't know what they mean, but I do believe they are from God and I do believe there is a reason for them.  When I woke up this morning I kind of felt like maybe we all have gifts ("rooms") that we don't know are there and so they sit there unused.  I don't know?

I do know that I have probably had this dream over 20 times over the years.  The rooms are always a surprise to me, though every time I dreamed of someone else (my friend, my brother-in-law, my cousin), their rooms were being used and they knew about them.  The rooms are always clean, without cobwebs, clean windows, etc.  There were always very useful things in the rooms I found, antiques, fully equipped kitchens, completely stocked cabinets, bedding, etc.

Do any of you have any insight into what these dreams could mean?  I have been praying for God to reveal the meaning to me but today is the closest I have come.  I'll keep you informed if I have any more or if God reveals any more meaning to me.  Until then I'll be your weird friend with the dreams :o)

Small is the Gate and Narrow is the Way

I thought it would be fun to bring my camera along to show you where I hike several times a week, little did I know God would give me a blog post during my hike last week. I was thinking about the trail and a post I did a while ago. Sometimes God allows visitors to flit in and out of our life. We don't know where they come from or how long they will stay. I am continually blessed by the people in my life. It has been amazing to see who God uses at a specific time to call me, send a card, reach out, I am blessed and blessed and blessed again.

Sometimes God leaves decisions up to us, once you cross this bridge you have to decide whether to go to the left or to the right. Sometimes crossing the bridge seems like the hard part but there are times when making the decision after the seemingly hard part is even more difficult.

Sometimes God offers you a resting spot. Sometimes you have no choice but to sit and rest, your body is tired, your mind is foggy, your spirit is weak. Other times you sit by choice. To just enjoy the beauty that is around you and to thank God for his gifts.

Sometimes there are giant rocks in our way. At first glance they detours are annoying and aggravating. Sometimes we even show our sinful nature and try to move the rocks out of the way. Sometimes God puts them there to see if we will move them out of our way. But one peek on the other side of this rock showed me that a huge drop off that would have hurt me very badly had I not heeded the warning. Our lives are like that, only God knows what is on the other side of our rock. Sometimes it's danger, other times it's a beautiful thing that needed time to rest and grow before it was okay to pass this rock.

God doesn't always make our way smooth and straight. But He does always offer guidance and a hedge of protection. It is okay to pass through ways that seems unsteady and rocky, but He will always be there.

It is often hard to stand on a bridge and see our friends and family going through rough times where the only way through is one step at a time over an unsure and even frightening river of emotions and trials.

While on the other side of this same bridge you see other friends and family walking through smooth, calm waters. It is very hard not to be covetous of these people. But these same people may have just been upstream in the rough waters, we often don't know what people are going through and even when we observe it we are not in the water with them.

Life truly is an adventure, isn't it? And even though only God knows the future, we can know the destination and we know, without ever laying eyes on it, that a future with Him as our savior is full of wonder and beauty. I look around at where I hike and I can't imagine anything more glorious and yet in my heart I know it is infinitely more so. He is such a wonderful Creator and Father. Praise Him.

Sometimes Dust is a Noun

"In our early years of studying grammar, we learned that dust can be a noun as in "the dust is thick on the furniture" or it can be a verb like "next week we will dust." For this season of my life, it is usually a noun. Once or twice a year it is a verb," Laura W. from Homeschooling for the Rest of Us.

For My Mom

This is the boy who was born with blue eyes the color of a spring morning. My first boy was born with eyes of chocolate pudding and they stayed that way. My second boy was born with eyes of a summer storm at dusk and they quickly changed to cinnamon. But this boy held onto his blue eyes until well past his first birthday. When he was eighteen months old my dad and I decided he was going to stay blue eyed but Grandma insisted he would be hazel-eyed like his momma and grandpa. A fierce debate would take place often over what color his eyes were and what color they would end up. I finally conceeded that they were hazel when this boy was nearly two and a half, although it truly depends on what he is wearing. Tonight I found this picture on my camera. I don't know who took it (it wasn't me because I would have wiped his face off first) but the thing that struck me were his eyes. Definitely hazel. So, Mom, I wish I could tell you in person but you were right. His eyes are hazel.

You were right. Something I never told you enough.

How Comfortable Are You?

I'm having trouble focusing on my normal daily routine today. I can't do it. I try. I want to. But I just can't.

When I am in The Word daily, when I am focused on sacrifice and following the path to the cross, when I am in Bible study under a godly woman, when I am reading great books, when I am vicariously following a team around Kenya, when I am considering ordering a double portion of Crazy with a Side of Nuts, when my eyes are focused on HIM, none of the rest of it matters much.

I try to read my other favorite blogs, the ones with the yummy recipes and craft ideas and home decor and it just seems useless. It seems like smoke and mirrors, vapors of uselessness. I'm reminded of the verse in Ecclesiastes 1:2: vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

I read those favorite blogs, blogs of women that I *know* love the Lord, and I just get a bad taste in my mouth. Not because of what they've written, but because of why I'm reading them.

I know this where God wants me right now. Like MckMama, this is where I want to want to be. But if I'm honest it's not where I want to be.

Fluffy stuff is way more fun to read and do. Who wants to read blogs that make them cry, nay sob?

Decorating my home is way better for my hands. Who wants to dirty their knees and risk getting other people's filth under their fingernails?

Trying unsuccessfully to find recipes for this 300 pounds of food in my freezer is comfortable. Who wants to ruminate about the millions of families who are eating at a shelter tonight or, even worse, don't know where their next meal is coming from or can't remember when they last ate?

Hear me on this: there is nothing wrong with providing for your family with a warm, cozy house and nourishing meals. And there is nothing inherently wrong with crafting, especially if you can provide for your family or bless others with it. But I don't stop there. I buy too much, I waste too much, I use too much, I keep too much, I relax too much. It's comfortable to do these things.

But God doesn't call us to a comfortable life. So let me ask you this...how comfortable are you this very day?

That's Crazy with a Side of Nuts!

Have you ever heard about someone stepping out on a wobbly twig, with a thimble of faith, and doing something amazing for God's kingdom and thought

"That's crazy with a side of nuts! That is colossal and, good for you,
it's tremendous but there is no way, nooooo waaaaaay, that I could ever do
that. I mean, what about (insert mediocre excuse here) and what would we
do about (insert paltry excuse there)? What would (insert someone who
really doesn't matter that much) think and where would we get the funds for all
of that?"

Has that EVER run through your mind?

And if it has, have you ever said to your spouse "What...um, what did you think about what such and so said?"

And if your spouse had the same Crazy with a Side of Nuts reaction that you did, have you ever spent the next several days consumed with this burning desire to spend every waking moment face down in front of God and wait for Him?

No? You haven't? Yeah. Me neither. Just asking.

Focus on Marriage Simulcast

Mr. Steady and I were SO utterly blessed to attend the Focus on Marriage simulcast today. I have so much swirling around in my head I want to share with you over the coming days but this can't wait.

Francis Chan said something that impacted me so deeply I want to share it with you. Do you remember playing Simon Says? Simon says jump on one foot and you jump on one foot? Why don't we do what Jesus says? We memorize His words and study them but we don't DO them. Chan's illustration (he used his daughter, I'll use my son): If I ask my [son] to go clean his room, he comes back and I say "Is your room clean?" "Um, no Mom, but I memorized what you said and I can even say it in Greek," is that going to fly? What if he says "I called five of my friends over and we studied what you said and we came up with a plan of action."? No! You told him to clean his room, you expect his to clean his room!

Jesus said GO and MAKE disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. He didn't ask us to pray about it, study it, form a focus group, discuss it, memorize it. Go. That's it. Why is that so hard?

Why Teach Your Children With King James Version?

As I mentioned, Mr. Steady and I are planning on homeschooling again next year. If you are a new reader here is the reader's digest version: homeschooled our oldest in Kindergarten, sent him to public school in first grade, God is calling us back to homeschooling. I'm looking for curriculum and I'd love to have you weigh in on the curriculum you use.

I was perusing Ambleside Online's website and came across a link to an article titled Why the KJV? by Lynn Bruce. I was not raised reading the KJV and I'm going to be honest with you, it is quite difficult for me to read and comprehend. I don't doubt that KJV is the most accurate version, although I am very fond of the Amplified Bible. When it came time to buy bibles for The Thinker and The Reader Mr. Steady stood firm on needing KJV for the boys.

After reading this article I wholeheartedly agree that KJV is best for teaching your children with. And if you, like me, struggle with KJV or have ceased teaching your children from KJV the author includes some tips for the transition:

Some ideas to choose from to help you ease the transition . . .
~Begin to choose memory verses from the KJV. Studies have shown that it is
more easily memorized than other versions, due to its rhythm and meter - that
"fine roll" to which Miss Mason referred.
~Continue for a time with your current version for daily Bible study, and
add a brief oral reading of the KJV Psalms each day. Read passages such as the
Ten Commandments, the 23rd Psalm, the 100th Psalm, the birth of Christ in Luke,
the Beatitudes, the various parables, the Sermon on the Mount, "The Lord's
Prayer," and others such as John 3:16, Galations 5:22, and Philippians 4:8.
Later, you may wish to journey into Isaiah, which flows with lyrical and poetic
language.
~Consider "weaning off" by using the KJV along with the version your
children are accustomed to, reading the same passage from both so they can
compare and pick up unfamiliar phrases.
~Have morning readings of familiar Bible stories from the KJV, followed by
a bedtime reading of the same passage from a good, literary story Bible, like
the one by Catherine Vos. In this manner, the story Bible essentially provides a
narration of the daily Bible reading.
~Many children have benefitted greatly from listening to audio recordings
of the KJV by seasoned professional readers like Alexander Scourby. "The World's
Greatest Stories from the World's Greatest Book" is a series of recordings by
storyteller George Sarris, reading word-for-word from the King James text. These amazingly vivid readings are widely available from various homeschool vendors
and Christian bookstores. My children have enjoyed them for years.
~Although most difficulties with King James language can be overcome with
context clues, it's helpful to keep a good (and preferably old) dictionary at
hand, such as Webster's 1828 Dictionary. Definitions from Webster's 1828 may be
searched online at http//www.christiantech.com/. Another
good choice is the Oxford Dictionary, which is unique in that it gives word
histories, and thus can often helpfully illuminate what a word meant in the
early 1600's.

***BUZZ*** Wrong Answer!

Over two years ago I felt God leading me into missions. Soon after Mr. Steady confirmed he felt called as well.

I remember vividly laying in bed one night, tears flowing like the Nile, arguing with God that I am not ready, not equipped, not prepared, not good enough, not holy enough, just not. He is the great I Am and I'm the great I Am Not. I tried convincing Him he had it all wrong and then I tried convincing myself I had been duped and had not been called at all.

Because of some circumstances in our life we knew we wouldn't be going anywhere for several years at the minimum and because we knew God works all things together for those that love Him we gave it to God to work out the details.

This week I was in that ugly place again. Maybe you've been there, the one where self-pity and loathing threaten to strangle you until you cry "uncle". I feel like our church should just put "Please pray for Mr. Steady's family because they are one messed up group of people." in our prayer concerns on the bulletin.

I was washing the dishes this morning and listening to In Touch. Dr. Stanley's teaser as the show went to commercial was "Do you ever feel like your umbrella can't withstand any more rain?" (my paraphrase). And I said "Yes, Lord! I do! Enough is enough! I don't know why you are allowing all this in my life but I'm obviously not going to be a better person for it and I'm obviously not learning anything so you can just turn it off now."

God allowed me to continue to listen after the commercial break. And God used Dr. Stanley to speak to me"You said you weren't strong enough, I'm giving you things to make you stronger. You said you weren't compassionate enough, so I'm giving you opportunities to reach out to others with empathy and love them because you love me. You said this so I did that. You will never be enough, but I am. I will give you my strength and my grace the moment you need and not a mite before."

In essence I heard God say "***BUZZ*** wrong answer, dear daughter of mine. You don't get to retreat and sign out. You become pliable, you become teachable. QUIT RUNNING AWAY!"

And through my tears that seem to be my constant companion these days I nod and agree with Him. Knowing that running away from the Master Creator is not going to make me who I want to be. And who I want to be is the daughter He already knows I'll be in the end.

Unredeemed

"We live in the shadow of the fall, but the cross says these are all places where grace is soon to be so amazing. It may be unfulfilled, it may be unrestored, but when anything that is shattered is laid before the Lord, just watch and see, it will not be unredeemed."



"My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you— I, whom you have redeemed." Psalm 71:23 (NIV)

Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I wrote my thoughts on it last year and am increasingly burdened to turn towards God with each Lenten season that passes. Ann has some wonderful suggestions and if you follow the links in her post you will find even more ideas and explanation.

Mark 8:34 And Jesus
called [to Him] the throng with His disciples and said to them, If anyone
intends to come after Me, let him deny himself [forget, ignore, disown, and
lose sight of himself and his own interests] and take up his cross, and
[joining Me as a disciple and siding with My party] follow with Me
[continually, cleaving steadfastly to Me].