Recently I was in a setting with several young people and any other time I would have been happy to let someone else do the talking. "Someone else" who is a better public speaker than me. "Someone else" who is more knowledgeable than me. "Someone else" whose voice doesn't get shaky and whose face doesn't turn 100 shades of red.
But "Someone else" was also waiting on someone else to speak up. To be the voice of Jesus. To correct the pc thinking and liberal teaching going on in our institutions of higher learning these days. "Someone else" was absent that day. Now, don't get me wrong, I am *NOT* "Someone else", I just noticed that "Someone else" was absent and felt He would want me to take His place.
When I said what needed to be said, an answer came back "I am a Christian too, I read the Bible, all that stuff but..."
All that stuff? What "stuff"?
Stuff is what I bring home from Target. Stuff is what I do all day to procrastinate doing my classwork. Stuff is excess. Stuff is *NOT* Jesus. Stuff is *NOT* the Bible.
Which led me to unpack this all some more. Have I just been going through the motions? I know for about 23 years of my life I did just go through the motions. I didn't know there was more. Until I met two incredible women who weren't just going through the motions. I looked at them and realized they meant what they said. They knew Someone I didn't.
It makes my eyes tighten with tears to remember that night sitting at my dear, dear friend's kitchen table and realizing - she GETS it. To her this is not a dress rehearsal, it's the actual performance. And I distinctly remember my other dear friend one late (laaaaate) night at a different kitchen table. I had comprehended the whole "actual performance" deal but I realized that night that I had never memorized the script. No one had ever told me about memorizing the script. But this friend, oh she knew the script so well. And she believed it too. She let it flow out of her mouth like sweet honey to my ears. And every. single. time. I call her, she oozes Jesus like you just wouldn't believe.
Since then I have wavered back and forth. A. Lot. I've forgotten that it is opening night with a sold out auditorium and folks, not only is this opening night but this is a one night only show. A single performance. There is an audience of One and nothing else matters. I show up for rehearsals diligently for a week or so and then something glittery and shiny catches my eye and I completely forget what it is I was practicing for. I forget my lines. I forget Who I am supposed to be performing for.
After I filled in for "Someone Else" the other day, I heard this song for the first time. I wept. Wept. It's from Matthew West called The Motions:
"This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions
Not this time I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
Take me all the way Take me all the way Take me all the way."
And how about you? If someone sat down at your kitchen table tonight, what would they remember 7 years later? I've sat down at a lot of kitchen tables with a lot of people. Lives change at the kitchen table. Mine did. And I am done going through the motions. "It might hurt, it's not safe but I don't care if I break."
"What if I had given EVERYTHING? Instead of going through the motions. No regrets. Not this time, I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind."