All Our Lives We've Longed for More

I have so much I want to say in this post and so little that I feel free to say. This post has been swirling around in my head for about a week so I thought that if I could just get it out I could unpack it and try to make it make sense to me.

I have Big Daddy Weave's song If We Let Jesus Live Through You and Me in my head right now. I tried to pull one part out that was more meaningful to me than another but I can't. Here are the lyrics in their entirety:

"I wish I was more of a man
Have you ever felt that way
And if I had to tell you the truth
I'm afraid I'd have to say
That after all I've done and failed to do
I feel like less than I was meant to be

What if I could fix myself
Maybe then I could get free
I could try to be somebody else
Who's much better off than me
But I need to remember this
That it's when I'm at my weakest I can clearly see

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me

What if you could see yourself thru another pair of eyes
What if you could hear the truth
Instead of old familiar lies
What if you could feel inside
The power of the hand that made the universe You'd realize

All our hearts they burn within us
All our lives we've longed for more
So let us lay our lives before the one who gave His life for us"

That's all I've got for now. I do have more to say about going through the motions but for now I've wrestled with myself so much that my brain is toast.