Monday, January 4, 2010

He says "Jump!" and You Say "How High?", Part 1

Update: This post was originally written on November 3, 2009. Suffice it to say a lot has happened since then. Photo from Flickr by Sbmoot

About a month or so ago God spoke to me. He told me to quit school and bring my boys home to home school. He also had some fascinating other ideas that I am not ready to talk about here (but no, it didn't have anything to do with having a baby). I thought I was going crazy so for a couple of days I ignored Him.

You see, I have a plan. It may not be traditional or expedient but it has, for the most part, worked for my family thus far. I jokingly tell everyone I'm on the ten-year plan for my college degree. I have about three years left at the rate I'm currently going. Then I would teach in the classroom for three years and then be hired on by a virtual charter school. After this I would bring my boys home to home school while I work from home.

Herein lies the problem that God revealed to me. I want to bring The Thinker home when he is in fifth grade. Right now he is in third grade. Let's do the math:

Just in case you are worried, math is not my concentration.

So okay, I got it. I don't have six years. I will bring the boys home next year, Lord.

First I threw a Jonah sized fit. Then I mourned. Typing that out just now seems silly. I mourned my degree? But it was more than that. It was me seemingly failing, yet again. I had have people in my life who do a great job of reminding me of all my great plans that I never followed through with. Me laying down pursuing my degree was proving these people right: I can't finish anything I start.

Somehow Mr. Steady understood this as I relayed it over the phone through my slurpy tears and snotty-nosed sniffles. The Lord used my husband to answer "Are you living to please such-and-so or are you living to please the Lord? Who matters in the end?"

When God says "Jump!" I say "I will Lord! I love you so much that I will do that. But first, I have to (insert your own pathetic excuse here)" And again He says "Jump!" and I say "I truly intend to, Lord, but I've got this (insert seemingly pressing issue here) to take care of."

Have you ever thought the disciples? I have often wondered what would have happened if Simon Peter said "Rabbi, if you knew how much debt I have you would never ask me to leave my business. I have three more years to pay it all off. Once that is off my back I will surely come and find you and follow you."

Or what if Thomas had said "Gee, God, that seems like a great plan but my wife is having a party next week and she's making my favorite latkes. As soon as that is cleared off my schedule I'll look you up next time you're in town and maybe we can get together then?"

What if we are missing the biggest and best blessing of our life by telling God He has to wait? Wait until my faith is stronger, my sin is diminished, my husband/wife/son/daughter has changed, the debt is gone, the children are bigger, the business is thriving, the degree is awarded, the weight is lost, the.......

About two weeks after God revealed his plan* to me, I was at peace with homeschooling. I will put down my degree and enjoy these last fourteen or so years I have left with my children at home.

*or at least what I interpret His plan to be. As an aside, how many times have I prayed "Lord, reveal your will to me"? And then when He does I laugh and say "No way, uh huh, what's plan B? What else have you got?"

He says "Jump!" I'm learning to say "How High?"

To Be Continued.....

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