I wouldn't be human if I didn't ask God the hard questions about my mom's death. Why? Why didn't you stop it? Why did you allow this? What good could possibly come of this? And even though He hasn't answered me directly, He did use Max Lucado's words to give me Hope. I pray they do the same for you today.
From Max Lucado's book Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear:
"What makes no sense in this life will make perfect sense in the
next. I have proof: you in the womb....Every gestation day equipped you
for your earthly life. Your bones solidified, your eyes developed, the
umbilical cord transported nutrients into your growing frame...for what
reason? So you might remain enwombed? Quite the contrary. Womb
time equipped you for earth time, suited you up for your postpartum
existence. Some prenatal features went unused before birth. You grew
a nose but didn't breathe. Eyes developed, but could you see? Your
tongue, toenails, and crop of hair served no function in your mother's
belly. But aren't you glad you have them now? Certain chapters in
this life seem so unnecessary, like nostrils on the preborn.
Suffering. Loneliness. Disease. Holocausts.
Martyrdom. Monsoons. If we assume this world exists just for
pregrace happiness, these atrocities disqualify it from doing so. But
what if this earth is the womb? Might these challenges, severe as they may
be, serve to prepare us, equip us for the world to come? As Paul wrote
"These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make
all our troubles seem like nothing" (2 Corinthians 4:17 CEV)"