Monday, May 4, 2009

Not Me! Monday

I did NOT take all the broken M&M's out of The Entertainer's snack pack and tell him he could not eat them because they were broken. Not me, I would never have then gone ahead and eaten them myself.

I would never allow The Thinker to put off working on a project he knew about for more than a week until Sunday night. Not me, I do not allow my children to put off until tomorrow what can be done today.

In light of that, I did not stay up until 2:00 one morning and 5:00 a.m. two days later working on papers for my own classes. Not me, I am so prepared, organized, and put together that I do my work the day it is assigned.

I did not bribe my own self with a bouquet of flowers if I would clean my desk off. Not me, I keep my work areas neat and tidy just for the sheer foundation of orderliness (is that even a word?). I need no motivation whatsoever to keep my house clean. I do not also regularly bribe myself with things in other areas of my house.

After I cleaned my desk off I did not put a small dish of Andes mints out in plain sight. And if I did put a small dish of Andes mints on my desk within reach of a chair I sit in for about four hours a day I wouldn't eat two or three an hour. Not me, I have all the willpower in the world.

Mr. Steady did not bake two loaves of Amish Friendship bread on Friday. I did not tell him that we should immediately give the extra loaf away so we didn't eat it. We most certainly did NOT eat the entire second loaf as well as the first. Not me, remember that willpower I have? Yes, everyone in my household maintains the same willpower.

I did not attend the most lovely Derbyshire Tea at a beautiful B&B with my mother yesterday as an early Mother's Day gift from her. And if I did go to such a fancy soiree I would never enjoy myself. I am the mom of three boys, you know. I only do rough and tumble, denim and black t-shirts. Never dresses with heels and a matching jacket to boot.

I am not fervently planning ways to torture enlighten and educate my children this summer. I do not wait expectantly for the Summer Bridge books to show up in the window of the stationery store. I am not seriously thinking of making my older two boys practice their math facts and writing this summer. Nor am I continually adding books to our ever-growing list of Must Read Books for summer reading. I am not anxious to see what the theme for the Summer Reading program is at the local library. Not me, I am so laid back and I understand that summer is a time for relaxation and play.

My whole educational philosophy is NOT that you can relax, play, have fun, and learn at the same time. No sir, when children learn I firmly believe that they have to have their bottoms firmly planted in a chair. Learning can never be done in a non-traditional setting in a way where students don't know they are learning. I subscribe to the theory that if students aren't bored senseless or crying because the work is too hard a teacher is definitely doing something wrong. My children would never do fun things to learn math with cooking or water balloons. And I would never encourage my children to write letters to friends to practice their math. Not me, I'm the meanest teacher/mom ever to walk the face of the planet.

I did not propose a Complaint Free Week to my family for this coming week. I, of course, did NOT bribe them with a pizza party complete with a movie treat and ice cream sundae bar. Because my children never complain to begin with I did NOT allow the entire family 20 complaints for the week. The Reader and The Thinker did not use up all 4 of their complaints in the first day. And I completely remembered that The Entertainer could not talk so when I divided up the 20 complaints by the five members of the family I did NOT allow The Entertainer for his own 4 complaints.

I am not completely grateful to God, our Heavenly Father, for the work He is doing in Stellan's life. I did NOT go private on my blog partially because I wanted to focus my time in prayer for Stellan. I also did NOT go private because I was making my blog into an idol. And I most certainly was NOT judging my worth on the amount of comments I received. Not me!

You can skip over to MckMama's blog to see what she and her friends did most assuredly, without a doubt, why would you even think she would, do this week.

I did NOT update this post three times when I remembered new things I did NOT do.

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